My Pain Is So Significant

Ever since I found out that almost the entirety of MTVs “Rich Girls” is on YouTube, I have been as consumed with it as I was when it aired for it’s one lone season in fall of 2003.

I have decided that I want to use Ally Hilfiger as something. I want to DO something with her. She’s ripe for parody but also so earnest and desperate that I can’t, in good conscience, simply toss her on a pile of rotting garbage, the way I’d like to do to her pal, Jamie Gleicher. No, what Ally needs and wants so badly is to be taken seriously, to be a creative bohemian. Sadly, she’s an heiress, so living in a garrett in Paris and “painting on a canvas” isn’t the way to do that. That’s actually horrible, that actually would make her worse than Jamie Gleicher because she’d convince herself that she was artsy and intersting, and would become instead, the human, man-lipped equivalent of Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette.

Ally’s only hope for herself is to be hilarious; to parody herself, to develop an understanding of irony and just send up her whole stupid life.  

The answer is clear: a remake of the movie Overboard starring only reality stars and celebrity children.